I’m going to stay in control. I can feel that there is a partial wall back up around me, and it is a bit comforting. I’ve decided to stop being the rational “fix-it” girl for a while and just let the chips fall where they will. I’ve already felt more confident and happier about things. In doing this, I feel as though some of the vulnerability that I’d had has been replaced. I think I’ve been bottling up a lot of the emotions that I felt I should keep in check (self-pity, anger) not excessive amounts, but sometimes you need to just feel bad for yourself for an hour, and sometimes you need to just be angry and I am starting to get that. I also realise that sometimes you just need to step away from the situation and spend some time alone. I’ve also decided that I just can’t “think about stuff” anymore. I don’t have the energy to obsess and analyse and worry. I’m taking things at face value, and I’m walking away from situations and I’ve already noticed a change in the way I’m being treated- a positive change.
I think the outcome here is going to be good.
